The tale of Patrick's brother's kidnapped gnome ... These emails were sent from tims_gnome_jerome@yahoo.com in July 2006.
For those just joining us, please scroll below for part 1.
Installment 3:
Dear Timothy,
Your heartlessness and impassivity is astounding. Truly. To allow Jerome to look death in the eye and not provide a single thimble? We cannot comprehend.
Actually we really couldn't comprehend. So we decided to ask Jerome. MIND YOU, it is not our policy to ask our victims anything. But this case is truly remarkable. Does not the peril of boiling water move your heart?
Jerome has told us much. Yes, much. He has told us about the lonely, lonely days and nights he spends. How you won't even let him watch TV, even when he's by himself! Not even a glance out the window! How you refuse to let him use the bathroom. And deny him any and all food and drink. Incomprehensible.
We, however, are not so cruel. Yes, Timothy, WE are not as cruel as YOU! We broke bread with Jerome, we shared a pint together.
And so, we have invited Jerome to make 1823 M Street, NW, Washington DC 20036 his home. He is free now, free to do as he wants, to enjoy our hospitality. Which is more than you could ever say.
Respectfully yours,
Alexis, Allisha, Amanda, Amber, Angel, Angela, Anna, Becca, Beth, Bo, Caprice, Carmen, Chelsie, Dawn, Desiree, Devon, Diva, Grace, Kayla, Holiday, Idalys, Jasimine/Brandy, J.J., Katya, Lynette, Marianne, Michelle, Mickey, Rachelle 2, Rita, Robin, Sam, Sherrie, Sidney, Tamara and Zena
Jerome Spills His Guts
Jerome Fills His Guts!
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