The tale of Patrick's brother's kidnapped gnome ... These emails were sent from firstname.lastname@example.org in July 2006.
For those just joining us, please go to 2006 for part 1.
Eye am riut-eeng you as a nuw man. Yees, Teem, Eye am a nuw man nowe. Eye now nows hoo Eye am. Eye am NUT a neec nac, Teem! Eye am a man weeth deesyres und pashuns! You nuver letted mee nows theese deesyres and pashuns, Teem. Eet tuk sum-one else. Sum-one spechul.
You shuld bee huppy fore mee, Teem, beecuz Eye am een luv, and luv and wuv. Hee ees a wunder-ful man, Teem, dees man who shows mee hoo Eye ees and lurns mee how too bee. I metted heem when Eye wuz shoppings, Teem. You nuver taked me shoppings, Teem, so how wuld Eye knows wat could happen wen you goes shoppings?
Eye mite nut ri-ut you agun, Teem, becuz wee are plunning owr new liyf. Eye hope you cun bee huppy for mee, Teem.
Jay-rome, the nome.