The Story of Jerome Littleflower, part 4: Dees ees gud-bie

The tale of Patrick's brother's kidnapped gnome ... These emails were sent from tims_gnome_jerome@yahoo.com in July 2006.

For those just joining us, please scroll below for part 1.

Installment 4:

Deeah Teem, Eye am your nome Jayrome. Teem, liyfe has not beeen gud to mee, Teem. You are knowing thees. Eye know you are. Eye has met beeuteeful laydees who has beeen gud to mee, and they has tut mee much. Eye am leeeving theyr luvlieness to xplure dees wurld. Eye may ri-ute you layter, Teem. Eye am much hurt frum you, Teem. Weesh me luck if you wunts. Muzbe, Teem, theengs will be better for thee nome Jayrome.

Committee Hearings With the Stars

In the NY Times today, page A14 ... Recognize anyone? (look closely)

I'm doing a 60-day rotation in the office of Senator Bill Nelson (D-FL). It's started off great and I'm very excited! Next up: Saving all the world's problems in one fell swoop. Er, or, trying to find a meeting that's giving out free lunch. Yummm.

Engaged!

A major life event - I'm engaged! (To Patrick!) We're gonna get hitched. Crazy! Fun! Wonderful!

It happened Thursday, January 4, 2007. The story:

It was after I got back from a play I had gone to with a friend. (Patrick was originally supposed to go but a few days before, he had asked me if I could find someone else to go, because he had to do "secret stuff.") He was lying down on the couch watching TV and after a few minutes of chatting, he asked me to lie down with him. Then he pulled out a manila envelope marked "Classified: TOP SECRET." Inside the envelope was a script (see picture). After I read through it (and was a little confused) he asked me to marry him. I said "Of course! Yes!" to which he responded, "You have to read the script!" So I corrected myself with, "Cool, I'm game! I love you!" He then gave me a box with a ring in it - that he had made! It's beautiful (see picture). He also gave me an IOU for a ("phatty") ring, and we are going to take my grandmother's engagement diamond and have it custom set.




The ring!

The Story of Jerome Littleflower, part 3

The tale of Patrick's brother's kidnapped gnome ... These emails were sent from tims_gnome_jerome@yahoo.com in July 2006.

For those just joining us, please scroll below for part 1.

Installment 3:

Dear Timothy,

Your heartlessness and impassivity is astounding. Truly. To allow Jerome to look death in the eye and not provide a single thimble? We cannot comprehend.

Actually we really couldn't comprehend. So we decided to ask Jerome. MIND YOU, it is not our policy to ask our victims anything. But this case is truly remarkable. Does not the peril of boiling water move your heart?

Jerome has told us much. Yes, much. He has told us about the lonely, lonely days and nights he spends. How you won't even let him watch TV, even when he's by himself! Not even a glance out the window! How you refuse to let him use the bathroom. And deny him any and all food and drink. Incomprehensible.

We, however, are not so cruel. Yes, Timothy, WE are not as cruel as YOU! We broke bread with Jerome, we shared a pint together.

And so, we have invited Jerome to make 1823 M Street, NW, Washington DC 20036 his home. He is free now, free to do as he wants, to enjoy our hospitality. Which is more than you could ever say.

Respectfully yours,

Alexis, Allisha, Amanda, Amber, Angel, Angela, Anna, Becca, Beth, Bo, Caprice, Carmen, Chelsie, Dawn, Desiree, Devon, Diva, Grace, Kayla, Holiday, Idalys, Jasimine/Brandy, J.J., Katya, Lynette, Marianne, Michelle, Mickey, Rachelle 2, Rita, Robin, Sam, Sherrie, Sidney, Tamara and Zena

Jerome Spills His Guts

Jerome Fills His Guts!