The tale of Patrick's brother's kidnapped gnome ...
Installment 1:
Dear Timothy,
We regret to inform you that we have kidnapped your gnome. We have taken him to a super-secret, undisclosed, impenetrable, remote, unobtrusive and clandestine hide-away. Do NOT attempt to find or rescue him! Any such attempts will result in your gnome's EXECUTION. We've done it before. We're not afraid to do it again.
Given your close, persistent and continuing ties to Jerome, we expect you will easily furnish a ransom. Please place $10,000 in denominations of 5s and 10s into a circa 1956 sewing kit and deliver it to 1823 M Street, NW, Washington DC 20036 by 4:24 PM on Wednesday, July 5. OR ELSE.
Jerome is counting on you.
Respectfully yours,
Alexis, Allisha, Amanda, Amber, Angel, Angela, Anna, Becca, Beth, Bo, Caprice, Carmen, Chelsie, Dawn, Desiree, Devon, Diva, Grace, Kayla, Holiday, Idalys, Jasimine/Brandy, J.J., Katya, Lynette, Marianne, Michelle, Mickey, Rachelle 2, Rita, Robin, Sam, Sherrie, Sidney, Tamara and Zena
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